It's okay to be terrified

When I was five, I sat in front of the TV listening to the obnoxious sound of gold rings being collected by a really fast blue blur on the screen. I was watching my dad play Sonic the Hedgehog on the Sega Genesis. I remember swiveling my head between him and the screen, just entranced by his ear-to-ear smile.

He was so. fucking. happy.

In that moment, he unknowingly shared the experience of games with me without handing me control of them. I could watch, hear, cheer, anticipate, and feel the excitement without the frustration of playing. I remember every so often he’d pause, glance over, and throw me a high five. In hindsight, I believe those moments are fundamental to who I am.

That’s how I learned games were fun. It was fun watching my dad, acting like a kid, playing as a blue hedgehog 😆 .

(fuck, I’m old…)

My own five-year-old already plays games on the Nintendo Switch, and sometimes on an iPad. My two-year-old will occasionally watch…his time will come heh. They’re becoming fascinated, and frankly I love it!

BUT, I’m also slightly terrified. Which is insane – terrified of my five-year-old playing Mario Kart?!? It’s fucking Mario Kart! The top selling game of all time on the Switch, played by every age and enjoyed by millions! But still…

It makes me think about how my dad let me in without throwing me in. I’m trying to do the same, except today’s games are nothing like Sonic. The ecosystem is astoundingly different (and way more toxic if you ask me), and even having been part of gaming culture my whole life, it can still be intimidating to navigate, let alone with kids.

That’s what this newsletter is about. Raw thoughts about how games fit into our lives – as adults, as parents, as people raising kids in a world where games and game mechanics are literally everywhere. Not rules. Not panic. Not newsworthy bullshit. Just my genuine perspective on living and parenting in a world of games.

No, you don’t. But you will! I’m Patrick 👋 . I’m not just a dad, but a gamer and a designer who’s spent almost 20 years in product and technology, including video games (no surprise 😏 ). I have a good understanding of how they work, why they’re compelling, and what they’re designed to do. I’ve even built them before.

What I’ve found is that most conversation around kids and games is either alarmist or dismissive, with very little space for people who just want clarity. I want this newsletter to be a space for us to press pause on the noise and focus on what matters in the relationship we (and our kids) have with games.

I’ll provide my thinking around gaming as a part of adult life, often through the lens of a parent. Sometimes it might be a specific question, like how to know when a game’s right for a kid. Sometimes it might be an observation about what games teach us about ourselves. Sometimes it might just be me working through something I’m finding really fucking challenging.

This isn’t game reviews or news recaps (well…most the time). This isn’t for the “expert” parent or the “professional” gamer. There’s already too much of that shit swirling around the web. Most importantly, it’s not “here’s what I think you should think” either.

Because the conversation around games and the game industry has gotten so loud and polarized that it’s hard to navigate, let alone make decisions on others’ behalf (like buying the right game for your kid, for example). Games are everywhere now, and you’re supposed to believe they’re either rotting yours and your kids’ brains or that they’re completely harmless. (I think both are bullshit)

Anyway, I’m happy you’re here, and if you’ve read this far, I want to know: what’s your current relationship with games? Where do they fit in your life, your kids’ lives, your family, if at all?

Hit reply to tell me! I want to know! That’s the start of your philosophy on games, and perhaps I can help you build the rest.

Thanks for pressing pause with me.

– Patrick